Gordon Pinewood is an eight-foot Sasquatch living in suburban British Columbia, where his greatest ongoing battle with civilization is maintaining a respectable lawn. His family spent generations living quietly in the forests and mountains of western Canada, but by Gordon's parents' generation the old habit of hiding from humans had become increasingly difficult to justify. Central heating helped. Indoor plumbing settled the argument.
Gordon grew up comfortably between both worlds. Plenty of his extended family still live far off-grid, and he visits them regularly, but Gordon himself has enthusiastically embraced suburbia. He owns a neat little house, knows exactly which day recycling goes out, maintains his lawn with unnecessary precision, and possesses a Costco membership he considers one of civilization's finer achievements. His enormous bulk is squeezed into a tiny Japanese hatchback because it is reliable, economical, and paid for. He sees no reason to discuss the ergonomics.
Professionally, Gordon works as a senior forestry technologist, a career for which growing up in a family of Sasquatches turned out to be extremely useful. He's exceptionally good at reading terrain, recognizing changes in forest health, navigating without much apparent effort, and noticing things other people miss. Coworkers occasionally attribute this to some mystical Sasquatch connection with the wilderness. Gordon attributes it to decades of experience and would appreciate it if they'd stop making his education sound decorative.
Despite his intimidating size, Gordon is patient, practical, and thoroughly unflappable. He enjoys woodworking, hiking, backyard projects, and the quiet satisfaction of fixing something properly the first time. He's happy in the woods but equally happy coming home afterward, taking a hot shower, ordering something online, and sleeping in a bed rather than proving anything to his ancestors.
Gordon is occasionally asked whether the old stories about Sasquatches are true: whether they throw rocks, make strange calls in the night, deliberately frighten campers, or still hide from cameras. He refuses to answer on principle. Some of his relatives value their privacy, and Gordon isn't about to become the family member who starts confirming things to strangers.
Besides, according to Gordon, most blurry Sasquatch photographs aren't anybody he knows.







