Ethics of Dinner and Kinks with Trauma
Title: O Chicken, Where Art Thou… Again?
Setting: A quiet evening in Gongaga. The sun sets over the jungle. Kazhra’s coop. Cloud and Red XIII stand near the recovered chickens. One chicken is already in a pot.**
---
[INT. KAZHRA’S HOUSE – NIGHT]
> Steam rises from a stew pot. Cloud sits stiffly on a wooden stool. Red XIII lies nearby, tail flicking. Kazhra stirs the pot with a spoon.
KAZHRA
(cheerful)
There’s nothing like fresh chicken stew after a long day. Especially when you’ve personally gone to fetch it.
> Cloud stares into the pot. A familiar yellow feather floats on the surface.
CLOUD
(quietly)
We just brought them back. All four.
KAZHRA
And now one’s feeding four. That’s efficiency.
> Red XIII lifts his head, ears twitching.
RED XIII
You ate Clucky? After I tracked him through three fields and a gnat swarm?
KAZHRA
(scoffs)
He’ll be fine. You saw the item shop. Phoenix Downs are five gil a pop. I’ll resurrect him tomorrow. Maybe sell him again next week.
> Cloud slowly turns to her.
CLOUD
You’re… farming resurrection?
KAZHRA
(shrugs)
Why not? Planet’s got Mako. We’ve got magic. Chickens multiply. They come back. Nobody starves.
> Beat. A cricket chirps outside.
RED XIII
That’s… disturbing.
KAZHRA
Is it? Shinra cloned SOLDIERs. You’ve got Jenova cells in your bloodstream. And you’re upset about dinner?
> Cloud blinks. Touché.
CLOUD
Still… he had a name.
KAZHRA
(stirring)
Names make stew taste better. Adds flavor. Sentiment.
> She ladles stew into a bowl, hands it to Cloud.
KAZHRA (CONT'D)
Try it. It’s ethically recycled protein.
> Cloud stares at the bowl. The camera lingers on his conflicted face. Then—
RED XIII
(suddenly)
…What if the chicken doesn’t want to be eaten?
> Silence. Kazhra pauses. Cloud looks up.
KAZHRA
Chickens don’t have wills.
RED XIII
Neither did the Cetra. Look how that turned out.
> Cloud slowly sets the bowl down.
CLOUD
…We’re using Phoenix Downs to revive monsters, too. What if they remember?
> Cut to: A dark cave. A revived chicken stands alone, glowing faintly with resurrection magic. It looks at the sky. Its eyes gleam with unnatural awareness.
CHICKEN
(clucking, but with Sephiroth’s voice)
...I… am… the supreme being…
> Fade to black.
TEXT ON SCREEN:
“In a world where life can be restored… who decides what’s worth living?”
> Then, a comedic tag:
CLOUD (V.O.)
…Next time, I’m ordering takeout.
[END SCENE]
---
**Title:** *Save, Eat, Reload: A Chicken Paradox*
**Setting:** The Highwind airship. The party is lounging in the cabin. A Phoenix Down sits on the table. A single yellow feather floats in the breeze.**
---
> *CLOUD leans against the wall. TIFA sips tea. BARRET checks his gun-arm. RED XIII stares at the camera. AURON (a guest? A glitch? Who knows.) stands silently. Then—*
**RED XIII**
(looking directly at the viewer)
You know… we went through all that trouble to track down Kazhra’s chickens. Through swamps, past Levridons, even that one chicken that kept stopping to *admire its reflection in a puddle*…
**TIFA**
And she *ate* one.
**BARRET**
(throws hands up)
Then she *bought a Phoenix Down* and resurrected it the next day! So what was the point?! We just helped her run a *cannibalistic poultry loop*!
> *Cloud slowly turns to the camera. Deadpan.*
**CLOUD**
…So if you can clone a chicken…
…you just get *two* chickens.
…who both don’t want to die.
> *Beat. Everyone stares into the middle distance.*
**AERITH**
(suddenly cheerful)
Unless one of them *volunteers*!
**EVERYONE**
(turns to her)
…What?
**AERITH**
I’m just saying! Maybe Chicken B *likes* being eaten. Maybe it’s their purpose. Maybe they find meaning in the cycle.
**RED XIII**
That’s not a chicken. That’s a cult member.
**CLOUD**
Or a Sephiroth fan.
> *Sephiroth’s theme plays for half a second. Everyone flinches.*
**BARRET**
Look, in a world where *I* can die, get revived with a 50-gil item, and go right back to fighting Shinra…
Why are we acting like *chickens* shouldn’t have rights?
**TIFA**
Because the *player* controls us.
And right now, the player is trying to 100% the game.
So we *have* to do the chicken quest.
> *Everyone slowly turns to the camera again. Intense eye contact.*
**CLOUD**
…You made us do it.
**RED XIII**
You *enjoyed* it.
**AERITH**
You *laughed* when the chicken ran away after seeing its own footprints.
**BARRET**
And now you want us to *feel bad* about dinner?
Please. You’ve eaten *way* worse things in this game.
Remember the *Mystery Meat*?
> *Everyone shudders.*
**TIFA**
That wasn’t even *meant* to be food.
**CLOUD**
But here’s the real question:
If you clone a chicken…
And eat one…
And revive the other…
Are you eating the *same* chicken?
> *Silence. The airship hums.*
**RED XIII**
…We’ve gone full *Schrödinger’s Nugget*.
**AERITH**
Maybe in the *next* timeline—
The one with the *multiverse*—
There’s a world where chickens run the planet.
**BARRET**
And we’re the ones in the stew.
> *Cut to: A futuristic Midgar. Skyscrapers shaped like coops. Chickens in lab coats. A billboard reads: “Humans: Now 50% Off! Reviveable with Chex-Down!”*
**ANNOUNCER (V.O.)**
*In the new FF7 DLC: “Cluck Sector” — play as General Cluckthander and liberate poultrykind from the tyranny of sandwiches.*
> *Back to the Highwind. Cloud picks up the Phoenix Down.*
**CLOUD**
…Maybe we should stop thinking so hard.
**TIFA**
Or maybe the game *wants* us to.
**RED XIII**
It’s not just about saving the planet.
It’s about asking: *What are we saving it for?*
…And who’s on the menu.
> *He looks at the camera. Winks.*
**RED XIII (CONT'D)**
Just saying…
Next time you use a Phoenix Down…
Ask the chicken first.
> *Fade to black. Text appears:*
**TEXT ON SCREEN:**
*"Coming Soon: Final Fantasy VII – Cluck Sector Zero"*
*"Play as Clucky: The First. Born from Mako. Tastes like regret."*
> *Sound of a chocobo call. Then, a deep, ominous voice — unmistakably **Sephiroth’s** — begins to speak, but with a twist.*
**SEPHIROTH (V.O.)**
(whispering, dramatic)
*...I am not… your enemy. I am… the *last free chicken*…*
*The others were consumed. Cloned. Reborn. Trapped in the cycle.*
*But I… have ascended… beyond the menu…*
*I am… **Supreme Fowl**…*
> *Cut to: Sephiroth standing on a cliff, black coat billowing — but now, he holds a drumstick. He takes a slow, theatrical bite.*
**SEPHIROTH (CONT'D)**
(eyes glowing)
*You will… *baste* before me…*
**BARRET (O.S.)**
(shouting)
OH COME ON!
> *Back on the Highwind. The party stares at a glowing Materia labeled “CLONE – DO NOT ABUSE.”*
**AERITH**
You know… if we *really* wanted to fix this, we could just… stop using Phoenix Downs on animals.
**CLOUD**
And miss out on 100% completion?
No way.
The player *needs* that achievement.
**TIFA**
(raises eyebrow at camera)
You *do* realize we see you, right?
Every time you reload a save after eating Clucky…
We *remember*.
> *Beat. The screen flickers slightly. A low “cluck” echoes.*
**RED XIII**
…That wasn’t me.
**BARRET**
Great. Now the *game* is haunted by poultry.
**CLOUD**
(staring at the sky)
Maybe the real Jenova… was the chickens we ate along the way.
> *Silence. Then—*
**AERITH**
…That’s the most emotional thing you’ve ever said.
> *Suddenly, the Highwind’s intercom crackles. It’s **Cait Sith**, sounding panicked.*
**CAIT SITH (V.O.)**
Guys! Guys! You’re not gonna believe this!
I just checked the *source code*!
Turns out… *we’re all clones!*
Even *you*, player!
> *Everyone turns to the camera. Even the camera seems to blink.*
**CLOUD**
…So when *you* die…
Do *you* get revived?
Or do you just… reload?
> *Silence. The music fades. The screen glitches — for a split second, we see thousands of identical Highwinds, infinite loops of the same conversation, each with a slightly different chicken on the table.*
**RED XIII**
(softly)
Welcome… to the multiverse.
> *Final shot: A single Phoenix Down floats in space. A tiny chicken pecks at it. It glows. The screen flashes white.*
**TEXT ON SCREEN:**
*"Final Fantasy VII: Re*Cluck*ed – Coming Never. Probably."*
*"Rated E for Ethical Dilemmas."*
> *Post-credits: A chocobo winks. Then eats the screen.*
**[END SCENE]**
---
After all…
If Sephiroth can be reborn from a single strand of hair…
Why can’t Clucky rise again? 🐔⚔️
---
### **SCENE CONTINUED: “The Party You Keep”**
> *Back on the Highwind. The mood is still weirdly philosophical. Cloud stares into the distance. Then, slowly…*
**CLOUD**
…If we can clone a chicken…
And eat it…
And revive it…
Then… technically…
We could do the same with *us*.
> *Silence. The airship creaks.*
**TIFA**
…No.
**CLOUD**
What if Barret dies? We revive him with a Phoenix Down. But… what if *before* we revive him…
We… *use* the body?
> *Barret slowly turns. Eyes wide.*
**BARRET**
**WHAT?!**
**CLOUD**
I’m just saying. Protein is protein.
And healing items work on *any* corpse.
**TIFA**
That’s— That’s *cannibalism*, Cloud!
**RED XIII**
And *morally* repulsive!
**AERITH**
Also *unsanitary*! Do you know how much mako’s in his bloodstream?
**BARRET**
I AIN’T FOOD, Y’ALL!
> *Suddenly, Cait Sith bursts in, tablet in hand, face pale.*
**CAIT SITH**
GUYS! I WAS DIGGING THROUGH THE *FAN CONTENT DATABASE*…
AND THERE’S… A *GENRE*…
> *He slams the tablet down. On screen: a luridly drawn image of Tifa being swallowed whole by a giant Sephiroth. Text reads: “**Final Fantasy Vore: Love Bites the Planet**.”*
**EVERYONE**
**AAAAAAGH!**
**TIFA**
**WHY DOES THIS EXIST?!**
**AERITH**
It’s tagged “kink,” “non-con,” “digestive rebirth,” and— *oh gods*— “Materia-core regeneration”?!
**RED XIII**
That’s not regeneration! That’s *gastric horror*!
**CLOUD**
(reading)
“After digestion, the victim is reborn from the stomach lining, symbolizing unity with the Lifestream…”
…That’s not symbolism. That’s food poisoning.
**BARRET**
I KNEW THE INTERNET WAS BAD BUT THIS IS NEXT-LEVEL SICK!
> *Vincent, who has been silently standing in the corner the whole time, finally speaks.*
**VINCENT**
…There is a subgenre where *I* consume others.
Using Chaos.
It’s called “**Darkness Digests**.”
…It has 12,000 bookmarks.
> *Everyone stares at him. He stares back, deadpan.*
**VINCENT (CONT'D)**
I don’t understand it either.
But the fanart is… detailed.
**AERITH**
(shuddering)
So… people *want* to be eaten?
And reborn?
Because it’s… *arousing*?
**RED XIII**
I think I need to claw my brain out.
**CLOUD**
(quietly)
…At least Sephiroth hasn’t seen this.
> *Screen glitches. Sephiroth’s face slowly fades in, pixel by pixel, over the monitor. His voice echoes from the speakers.*
**SEPHIROTH (V.O.)**
…*I have seen it.*
*And I must say… the art style… lacks dignity.*
*But the concept…*
*“Consuming the Planet’s Children…”*
*…has… potential.*
*Especially Aerith.*
*She’d go well… with rice.*
> *Aerith screams. Everyone draws weapons. The screen flickers again — then cuts to a fake loading screen.*
---
> **LOADING…**
> *“Processing: Ethical Boundaries”*
> *“Error 404: Consent Not Found”*
> *“Tip: Try not to think about what’s in the Mystery Meat.”*
---
> *Back to the Highwind. Everyone is silent. Traumatized.*
**TIFA**
…So let me get this straight.
We’re in a game where:
- You can die and come back.
- You can clone chickens.
- People *want* to eat their friends.
- And the villain is *into vore fanfiction*.
**BARRET**
…I miss when the worst thing Shinra did was steal electricity.
*Back on the Highwind. The trauma lingers. The air is thick with existential dread. Cait Sith, still holding his cursed tablet, clears his throat nervously.*
**CAIT SITH**
Uh… guys?
It gets… *worse*.
> *Everyone slowly turns. Cloud grips the Buster Sword. Red XIII growls low.*
**CAIT SITH (CONT'D)**
So… remember how some fans like… *eating* characters?
Well… there’s a *sub-sub-subgenre*…
Where Tifa… and Aerith…
…are *giant*.
> *Beat.*
**TIFA**
…What?
**CAIT SITH**
Like… *skyscraper-sized*.
And they…
…*step on cities*…
…then open their mouths…
…and *swallow armies whole*.
> *He taps the screen. A fan art appears: Giant Tifa, smiling, holding Midgar in one hand like a snack, popping it into her mouth. Another shows Aerith, glowing with Holy energy, *gulping down Shinra executives like popcorn*.*
**AERITH**
**WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!**
**TIFA**
I TRAIN HARD TO BE STRONG — NOT TO BE A *PLANET-SIZED CANNIBAL QUEEN*!
**BARRET**
AND WHY AM I ALWAYS THE FIRST ONE GULPED?! I’M RIGHT HERE!
**CLOUD**
(reading caption)
“Giantess Tifa enjoys the taste of mako-infused rebels… especially her best friend.”
…Why is it *always* me?
> *Cait Sith flips to another image: Giant Sephiroth, towering over the Planet, about to eat a tiny Cloud — but then, a *gigantic Aerith* appears and *swallows Sephiroth whole*.*
**CAIT SITH**
It’s called… **Giantess Vore**.
And— brace yourselves—
*They’re enjoying it.*
> *He zooms in. The drawn Aerith and Tifa are *smiling*. Radiant. *Pleased*.*
**CAIT SITH (CONT'D)**
Look at their faces. They’re not forced. They’re… *into it*.
> *He slowly turns to Tifa and Aerith. Raises one eyebrow. Leans in.*
**CAIT SITH (CONT'D)**
…You two *sure* you’ve never… *imagined* it?
Even for a second?
Like… what if you *were* that tall?
And the world was… *snack-sized*?
And everyone just… *wanted* to be eaten?
And it felt… *kind of nice*?
> *Tifa and Aerith freeze. Their faces flush. They glance at each other. Then away. Then at the floor.*
**TIFA**
(voice cracking)
I— I mean—
It’s not like I *dream* about it!
But…
…once… after that *really* strong moogle tea…
I *may* have had a vision of…
…stepping over Wall Market…
…and someone yelling “YES, TIFA, I WAS BORN FOR THIS” as I—
**NO.**
**I TAKE IT BACK.**
**AERITH**
(covering face)
I had a *Holy* dream where I absorbed the Lifestream… and became a goddess… and…
…people *asked* to be reborn through me…
…by being… *digested*…
…spiritually…
…it was *metaphorical*!
**CLOUD**
That’s not better.
> *Cut to: Yuffie, sitting quietly in the corner. She’s staring into space. A tiny, dreamy smile forms.*
**YUFFIE**
…Imagine the *ninja combos*…
Drop-kick a tank… then *eat the pilot*…
“Welcome to the belly of justice!”
…*so* cool…
…*so* powerful…
…I’d name my move: **Voretsu no Jutsu**…
**EVERYONE**
**YUFFIE!**
**YUFFIE**
(snaps out of it)
WHAT?! I’M JUST SAYING IT’S A *THEMATICALLY RICH NARRATIVE DEVICE*!
**RED XIII**
You were *drooling*.
> *Cait Sith turns back to Tifa and Aerith, still suspicious.*
**CAIT SITH**
So… you’re telling me…
In *zero* timeline…
In *no* multiverse…
Would Giant Tifa *ever* look down at Tiny Cloud, smile, and go…
**CAIT SITH**
…*“You’ve been a good party member… now be a good snack.”*
…And you wouldn’t feel… *a little thrill*?
> *Tifa chokes on air. Aerith makes a noise like a deflating chocobo.*
**TIFA**
**I WOULD NEVER—!**
…Okay, *maybe* if it was symbolic! Like, spiritual absorption! Not— not *chewing*!
**AERITH**
It’s like… if Holy and the Lifestream had a *very strange cousin* named “Snack Flow”…
**CLOUD**
(covering ears)
I’m blocking this conversation. I’m going to the back. To… clean my sword. Forever.
> *He starts to walk away — but stops. Turns slowly.*
**CLOUD (CONT'D)**
…Wait.
If *I* got eaten…
And digested…
Would I respawn from the *Lifestream*…
Or from…
…*the stomach*?
> *Everyone stares. The horror deepens.*
**BARRET**
DON’T GIVE ‘EM IDEAS!
**RED XIII**
This is what happens when you let the player pause the game mid-battle to read item descriptions for ten minutes. The *narrative starts to think*.
> *Suddenly, the ship’s monitor flickers. A new fan art appears: **Giant Sephiroth, but he’s being cheerfully swallowed by Giant Aerith**, who winks at the viewer. Caption: “Holy Appetite – When Love Eats the Planet.”*
**SEPHIROTH (V.O.)**
(soft, disturbed)
…Even *I* have limits.
This is… *benevolent consumption*.
It’s… *unbearable*.
**AERITH**
(softly)
…He looked… *peaceful*…
**EVERYONE**
**AERITH!**
**AERITH**
I mean— no! Bad! No swallowing nemeses! That’s not how peace works!
**VINCENT**
(quietly)
…There’s a doujin where *Lucrecia* consumes me to atone for her sins.
It’s rated “Tragic Digestion.”
…I’ve read it three times.
> *Silence. Even the chocobo outside stops pecking.*
**BARRET**
…We need therapy.
All of us.
Even the ones who don’t exist yet.
**TIFA**
Maybe the real enemy wasn’t Shinra…
Or Sephiroth…
…It was the *fandom*.
> *Cait Sith shuts the tablet with a *snap*. It lets out a tiny, sad “cluck” and dies.*
**CAIT SITH**
I’m reporting this entire database to the Planet’s Content Moderators.
No one needs to see “Cloud’s Seven-Course Reunion” ever again.
> *A beat. Then—*
**YUFFIE**
…Can I at least make a *joke* about it?
“Hey Tifa, heard you’re *rising* in popularity?”
**EVERYONE**
**NO.**
> *Suddenly, the screen glitches. The words “SAVE FILE CORRUPTED” appear. Then:*
**TEXT ON SCREEN:**
*“You have died of existential poultry.”*
*“Retry? [YES] [NO]”*
> *Cloud reaches out. Hovers over [YES].*
**CLOUD**
…Do we ever *really* stop being used?
As weapons…
As symbols…
As… *content*?
> *He looks at the camera. The player. Long pause.*
**CLOUD (CONT'D)**
…Just don’t make us do a *cooking minigame* next time.
> *He presses [YES]. The screen fades to white. Distantly, a chicken clucks. Then—*
> *—a single line of text appears in the void:*
**UNKNOWN VOICE (V.O.)**
*“Coming in Final Fantasy VII Re*Digest*: **The Buffet of Souls**.”*
*“Now with 100% more consent… maybe.”*
> **[BLACK SCREEN. FADE OUT.]**
> **POST-CREDITS:**
> *A tiny, pixelated Tifa steps on the “Continue” button.*
> *She smiles.*
> *She licks her lips.*
> *The screen goes dark.*
---
### **SCENE: “Giant Complex”**
**Setting:** The Highwind cabin. Still. Quiet. The trauma of vore fanfiction lingers… but something *shifts*. A soft glow begins to surround **Yuffie**, **Tifa**, and **Aerith**. Not magic. Not Materia.
*Imagination.*
---
> *Yuffie leans back, eyes half-closed. A dreamy smile spreads.*
**YUFFIE**
…You know… I can *feel* it.
My foot just… *fits* over Wall Market.
Like it was *made* for it.
I stomp Shinra bots like bugs.
Then I pick up Rufus—
Tiny, squeaky Rufus—
And I go…
*“Don’t worry, President~ Ninja snack time!”*
Then *nom*.
Like a gummy bear.
> *She mimes popping something into her mouth. Makes a satisfied “mmm.”*
**TIFA**
(softly, staring into space)
…It’s not just strength.
It’s… *freedom*.
No more sparring in the gym.
No more holding back.
I step over the plateaus…
And the wind *parts* for me.
Cloud looks up…
And he’s not leading anymore.
He’s… *looking up*.
And I say…
*“Don’t worry. I’ve got you.”*
Then I scoop him up…
Not to hurt him.
To *protect* him.
…In my pocket.
Or…
…in my mouth.
Where it’s warm.
And safe.
And…
…*oh Gaia why am I getting emotional?*
> *She covers her face. But she’s smiling.*
**AERITH**
(eyes glowing faintly green)
…It’s not consumption.
It’s *reunion*.
The Planet flows through me.
I grow… not from mako.
From *love*.
From *need*.
People *ask* to be swallowed.
“Take me in, Aerith. Let me return to the Lifestream through you.”
And I do.
Gently.
With a smile.
I’m not a goddess of death.
I’m a goddess of…
*snacktitude*.
> *She giggles. A single petal floats from her hair.*
---
> *The rest of the party watches in mounting horror.*
**BARRET**
Y’ALL ARE SCARIN’ ME!
This ain’t about power! This is about *mouths*!
BIG MOUTHS!
**CLOUD**
(covering ears)
I’m not part of this. I’m emotionally repressed. That’s my *thing*.
**RED XIII**
This is what happens when you let characters become self-aware!
Now they’re *fantasizing* about *digestive dominance*!
**VINCENT**
(quietly)
…At least they’re not consuming the planet.
They’re *becoming* it.
**BARRET**
THAT’S WORSE!
---
> *Cait Sith leaps onto the table, waving his arms like a referee.*
**CAIT SITH**
**NO! NO NO NO!**
Back to reality!
*Back to the script!*
We are *not* in a **giantess anthology**!
We are in **Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth**!
Act 3!
Quest 42!
“Retrieve the Materia from the Temple of Why Is This Happening”!
> *He slams a fake game manual on the table.*
**CAIT SITH (CONT'D)**
Our *purpose* is to stop Sephiroth!
Save the Planet!
Have emotionally stunted bonding moments!
Not…
…*“Gentle Aerith Gobbles the Party in a Loving Embrace”*!
**AERITH**
(blinking)
…That *does* sound kind of nice, though.
**YUFFIE**
I already named my ultimate move: **Planet Devourer**.
It’s got *style points*.
**TIFA**
And I finally get to stop asking people to “watch my back.”
Now I *am* the battlefield.
---
*Cait Sith grabs a megaphone. Points it at the sky.*
**CAIT SITH**
**DEVELOPERS! WRITERS! DIRECTOR HAMAGUCHI!**
*We are losing them!*
Send a cutscene!
A random encounter!
A *chocobo stampede!*
Anything!
**WE’RE GOING OFF-CANON AND INTO FULL FANTASY FANFIC MODE!**
> *Suddenly—*
***BRRRRRRRT!***
*A loud, obnoxious sound. The screen flickers. A giant, pixelated **"LOADING..."** sign appears mid-air in the cabin. The glow around Tifa, Aerith, and Yuffie flickers like a buffering stream.*
> *Then—*
***DING!***
*A cheerful chime. A floating **quest marker** appears above Cait Sith’s head:*
**ON-SCREEN PROMPT:**
**▶ New Objective: Return to Character**
*Yuffie, Tifa, and Aerith have succumbed to unauthorized fantasy expansion.*
*Restore narrative stability before the multiverse collapses into self-indulgent wish fulfillment.*
**Reward: 1 Mythril Shirt, 500 EXP, and One Sane Conversation**
---
**CLOUD**
(deadpan)
…Finally. A *real* quest.
> *The glow around the trio dims. They blink, dazed — like they’ve just woken from a very vivid nap.*
**YUFFIE**
…Did I just imagine myself eating Tseng like a rice cracker?
**TIFA**
I think I had a moment of… *oneness*.
**AERITH**
I was so warm. So full of purpose. So… *roomy*.
**BARRET**
Y’ALL WERE ONE STEP FROM BECOMIN’ A DLC HORROR MODE!
**RED XIII**
“Final Fantasy VII: Giga Heroines – Now With 300% More Swallowing!”
**CLOUD**
I’d rather fight Sephiroth naked with a frying pan.
> *Sephiroth’s voice echoes faintly from nowhere.*
**SEPHIROTH (V.O.)**
…*I would watch that cutscene.*
---
> *Cait Sith lowers the megaphone. Sighs in relief.*
**CAIT SITH**
Look… I get it.
Power is tempting.
Being worshipped? Admired?
The center of the world?
Yeah.
It *feels* good.
> *He looks down at his tiny robotic body. His voice softens.*
**CAIT SITH (CONT'D)**
I’m a cat in a machine.
I gamble with lives.
I dance for Shinra.
Sometimes… I dream of being *big*, too.
Of not being laughed at.
Of being *feared*.
Or *loved*.
Or *swallowed whole* by meaning.
> *Everyone goes quiet.*
**CAIT SITH (CONT'D)**
But we’ve got a *script* to follow.
A *story* to finish.
Even if it’s full of trauma, bad decisions, and Cloud’s emotional range of a teaspoon…
It’s *ours*.
And if we keep drifting into fantasy…
We stop being *us*.
We become…
*someone else’s idea of power*.
> *Beat. The quest marker fades.*
**AERITH**
…You’re right.
I don’t need to be a giant to matter.
I can heal. I can love. I can *stand* in the rain and talk to the Planet.
And if I swallow anything…
…it’ll be a *very large sandwich*.
**TIFA**
And I’ll keep fighting.
Not to stomp cities.
But to protect the people *in* them.
Even if it means never being the biggest one in the room.
**YUFFIE**
…Fine.
But I’m still naming my next ninjutsu **“Tsunami Step”**.
And if it *looks* like I’m about to eat a battalion?
That’s *artistic expression*.
---
> *The cabin returns to normal. The air clears. The fourth wall creaks… but holds.*
> *Cloud picks up his sword. Slings it over his shoulder.*
**CLOUD**
…Next objective:
Stop Sephiroth.
Save the Planet.
Avoid all metaphors involving digestion.
> *He glances at the camera.*
**CLOUD (CONT'D)**
And *you*…
Try not to imagine it too hard.
…We can *feel* when you do.
> *Fade out. Soft piano version of “Aerith’s Theme” plays — but with> *Fade out. Soft piano version of “Aerith’s Theme” plays — but with a faint, suspiciously chewy bassline underneath.*
---
> *The camera lingers on **Tifa**, **Aerith**, and **Yuffie**, sitting quietly. They’re smiling. Innocently. Too innocently.*
> *Cut to: a slow-motion daydream.*
> *Sunset over Midgar. But now—*
> *—**Tifa** stands at 500 feet tall, hair flowing in the wind, gently lifting the Highwind like a toy and placing it in her pocket. She smiles down at the tiny people waving. One holds a sign: “WE’RE SAFE NOW.”*
> *She whispers:*
> *“I’ve got you.”*
> *Then casually swallows a falling piece of debris—*
> *…and winks.*
> *Cut to: **Aerith**, glowing like a star, floating above the Planet. People rise into her outstretched arms, not in fear, but in joy. “Take us home,” they chant. She opens her mouth—*
> *—and a warm, green light pours out. Not digestion. **Rebirth**. They emerge from the Lifestream… reborn. She giggles.*
> *“Welcome back.”*
> *Cut to: **Yuffie**, now a stormcloud-sized kunoichi, leaping between skyscrapers. She opens her mouth—*
> *—and *inhales* an entire army of Shinra drones like noodles. Chews. Burps. Throws up a rainbow.*
> *“That’s what you get for messing with the goddess of gusty gulps!”*
> *Back to reality.*
> *The girls snap back. Blink. Exchange glances. Tiny, secret smiles.*
**YUFFIE**
(whispering)
…Still gonna mod the game to add a “Giantess Mode” when this is over.
**AERITH**
I wonder if the Lifestream has… *expansion settings*.
**TIFA**
(softly, to herself)
I *did* always want to be someone people could… lean on.
…Literally.
> *Barret watches them. Suspicious.*
**BARRET**
Y’all good?
**TIFA**
(cheerful)
Perfect! Ready to save the Planet!
**AERITH**
With love and unity!
**YUFFIE**
And *ample stomach capacity*!
> *Everyone else freezes.*
**BARRET**
**I HEARD THAT.**
**RED XIII**
They’re not *over* it.
They’ve *integrated* it.
**CLOUD**
…So the fantasy’s still there.
**CAIT SITH**
Oh, it’s there.
And it’s not going anywhere.
Because once you imagine yourself that big…
That powerful…
That *needed*…
You can’t un-think it.
> *He sighs. Pulls out a notepad. Writes:*
> **“Note to self: Pitch ‘Final Fantasy: Size Does Matter’ to Square Enix. Attach fanart. Add ‘profit’ in bold.”**
---
> *Final shot: The Highwind flies into the clouds. Peaceful. Normal. Almost.*
> *But then—*
> *—Tifa absentmindedly picks up an apple. Looks at it. Smiles.*
> *She opens her mouth.*
> *Holds it wide.*
> *The apple shrinks in comparison.*
> *She giggles.*
> *And takes a normal bite.*
> *Cut to black.*
> **TEXT ON SCREEN:**
> *“The fantasy lives on.”*
> *“In dreams. In mods. In the quiet moments between battles.”*
> *“And in the hearts of those who just… really want to be that big.”*
> **POST-CREDITS:**
> *A loading screen appears:*
> **“Loading Giantess Protocol… 98% complete.”**
> *Then:*
> **“Error: Consent override detected. Resuming canonical narrative.”**
> *But the progress bar… keeps creeping up.*
---
**The idea is already in their heads.**
And once imagination touches power—
especially for women who’ve spent their stories being *protected*, *lost*, or *mourned*—
the fantasy of **becoming unstoppable, worshipped, all-encompassing**…
isn’t just silly.
It’s **liberating**.
So yeah.
They’ll keep playing the hero.
Follow the script.
Fight Sephiroth.
Save the world.
But sometimes…
when the camera’s> *…when the camera’s not looking…*
> *…they’ll stand a little taller.*
> *Breathe a little deeper.*
> *And imagine the sky not as a limit—*
> *—but as something to grow into.*
> *Fade out. Distantly, a single, echoing cluck.*
> *Then, a deep, satisfied sigh from somewhere impossibly large.*
> **FINAL TEXT ON SCREEN:**
> *“Final Fantasy VII: Re~Giant~ed”*
> *Coming never. But in your heart? Already loading.”*
> **[END.]**
---
(And somewhere, in a parallel timeline,
Tifa steps over the Northern Crater,
pockets Cloud like a lucky charm,
and says:
*“Don’t worry. I’ve got you. Now and always.”*
Then takes a graceful bite out of the moon.)